The Strength card pretty much speaks for itself. It tells us to look our fears right in the eyes and dissect that which scares us with clear eyes and an open heart. Any situation can be overcome with courage. As I sat in the hospital at my husband's bedside, I was confronted by fear. Fear of what was, fear of what was not, and fear of what was to come. He has been in the hospital since Tuesday afternoon and it is still unclear what is actually wrong with him. We have been given the possibility of 2 diagnoses, but won't find out until tomorrow which one it; he has been scheduled for a procedure tomorrow morning to hopefully rule out one of the possibilities. Along with being scared for my husband and our family, I was also afraid of what my supervisors would think about me taking so much unexpected time off of work. I sent emails to let them know my plans, but did not talk to them 1-on-1 due to my fear of how they would take my absences. In the past, they have been very understanding, but I had never taken off more than a day. This time around, I wanted to take off a week. I knew this would be a sacrifice money-wise (part-time = no benefits), but there was no other choice. I wanted to be, no, I had to be by my husband's side during his time of need. For better or for worse.
By pulling this card on this particular day, I figured the Universe was telling me to put my "big girl panties” on and suck it up. I mustered up the courage to be more vocal with his doctors. I asked more questions, looked them directly in the eyes, and made my presence known as a very involved and concerned wife. I chose to be strong for my husband and not let my fear of the unknown back me into a corner. As for my job, I called my supervisor and told her the situation. I let her know that I wanted/had to be there for my husband and that I apologized for taking so much unexpected time off. To my great relief, she totally understood my position and reassured me that it was okay and to take care of my family first; work would be there when I returned.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that I am no longer a child. I feel like one on most days as I love to play, laugh, and twirl my magic wand, but I sometimes forget that I am a responsible wife, mother, and therapist. When I am confronted with sticky situations involving “grown-up” dilemmas, I tend to shy away and look at the ground like a frightened child; I dislike confrontation and sometimes feel it’s easier to just go with the flow. The Strength card is a card that I may have to keep in my pocket at all times to remind me that it’s okay to ask questions, to speak up for myself, and be a grown-up – when it’s absolutely necessary…
Until tomorrow.
By pulling this card on this particular day, I figured the Universe was telling me to put my "big girl panties” on and suck it up. I mustered up the courage to be more vocal with his doctors. I asked more questions, looked them directly in the eyes, and made my presence known as a very involved and concerned wife. I chose to be strong for my husband and not let my fear of the unknown back me into a corner. As for my job, I called my supervisor and told her the situation. I let her know that I wanted/had to be there for my husband and that I apologized for taking so much unexpected time off. To my great relief, she totally understood my position and reassured me that it was okay and to take care of my family first; work would be there when I returned.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that I am no longer a child. I feel like one on most days as I love to play, laugh, and twirl my magic wand, but I sometimes forget that I am a responsible wife, mother, and therapist. When I am confronted with sticky situations involving “grown-up” dilemmas, I tend to shy away and look at the ground like a frightened child; I dislike confrontation and sometimes feel it’s easier to just go with the flow. The Strength card is a card that I may have to keep in my pocket at all times to remind me that it’s okay to ask questions, to speak up for myself, and be a grown-up – when it’s absolutely necessary…
Until tomorrow.
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