10 of Cups

Blessed love life indeed!!! The 1o of Cups is our jackpot winning of life. This card lets us know that we have truly been blessed, not with just the material aspects of life, but the spiritual aspects also. Life is good right now. We are able to see and appreciate the little things. By holding on to this feeling, we can become selfish. It is our duty to spread this love with others to remind them that the simple things are what mean the most.

This card came on the absolutely perfect day. I started my bliss with some deep breathing and a few yummy sun saluations to great the day. I've been off work for a week and I needed to mentally prepare myself for the day ahead. I actually had to wake up my sleeping "little him"; it's usually the other way around. I really appreciated that small extra space of time to myself. To top off all of the early morning greatness, Hubby came home from the hospital today!!!! I am so glad to have him home! I missed his presence, his voice, his humor, and definitely his hugs and cuddles. "Little him" also missed his daddy like crazy. He expressed his excitement by running through the house yelling, "Dada, dada, dada"!!! Just when I thought the love could not expand anymore, my hubby invited my mother out for dinner with us. It was such a kind and thoughtful gesture. We celebrated our love fest at the Olive Garden and went home full - full of happiness, love, and joy...

Until tomorrow.

Tradition

4 of Swords

The 4 of Swords is a card of recovery and rest. After a long, agonizing ordeal with work or health related issues, it's time to relax, relate, and release. Stress has taken us through the ringer and we have surprising made it out on the other side in one piece, give or take a hair or two. This card is like a permission slip to put stress aside, kick up the feet, and just be.

Well, Hubby is still in the hospital. This makes a grand total of 5 days and I have yet to eat right, stop worrying, and rest. I always told him that he "completed" me, and I have truly felt my words this week. He is such an intergral cog to our family wheel that the dang thing won't roll when he's not around. As each day has passed, I have begun to grow more weary. Today was the first day I cried about the whole situation and it didn't just last a minute or so. It was an all-day, off and on kinda cry; the kind that gives you an instant headache to add to the impossible feelings of sadness.


I have pulled Sword cards for the last couple of days, and they have been so right on, it's actually scary. This particular card is telling me that I need to rest - - to take a break, breathe some fresh air, and slow my pace. I decided to call Hubby in the morning, go to church, eat dinner with my family, and then visit him in the early evening. I was able to sleep a little later, rest on the word of God and lay my troubles before Him, eat a hearty meal (not necessarily healthy, but definitely hearty), and then go and check on the love of my life. He in turn was able to rest and sleep off and on without worrying about me sitting there with nothing to do. In the end, I guess this card was a Godsend for the both of us...


Until tomorrow.

9 of Swords

My CC Reading

1. 3 Coins
2. 2 Cups
3. Empress
4. 9 Cups
5. Magician
6. Tradition
7. The Tower
8. Temperance
9. The Hermit
10. The Star

10 of Swords

The 10 of Swords blesses us with another chance; a second go-round to make things right. It also indicates that issues involving health are at the heart of the matter and that a healing is on the horizon. Due to outside influences, be it work or health, stress has caused one to stray from the course, and the appearance of this card means that the Universe is giving us a wake-up call to start focusing on #1 and get our health back on track.

With Hubby being in the hospital for the past 3 days, I have completely thrown healthy habits out of the window. I have been spending large blocks of time at the hospital sitting on my rear and watching t.v. or comforting my guy. With eating expensive, non-healthy food from the hospital and not getting any creative movement for my body, I know I have replaced some lost pounds, lost some replaced money, and gained a piss-poor attitude.

I am what you call a "stress-eater". Any sign of stress and my mouth automatically fills with carbs and sugar. Now, I am not a calorie counter or a carb-cutter, but I do try to practice healthy eating habits to fuel my body for the superwoman work I perform on a daily basis. I don't think I put one green thing in my mouth all week, unless you want to count gummi-bears. I am so worried about Hubby and am hopeful that he will come home in the next day or so, but it seems like these days are turning into a week and who knows what's beyond that. I have not been to work all week, but I am sooooo extremely tired. With tossing and turning in my sleep, worrying about Hubby, taking care of "little him" when I'm not at the hospital, and not eating right, I have started the downward spiral into energy-loss, weight gain, and crabbiness. Believe me, I know the symptoms, I have been here many times before.

By pulling the 10 of Swords, I am being told by the higher-ups that it's time to get my butt in gear and get the ball rolling toward better health. My health is the foundation of my being. If I am unhealthy, my mood is affected, and my mood affects others; it's an ugly chain reaction that I don't want to be responsible for. I have been given the notice of a second chance to get things straight and I plan to make the best of it. I know this stressful period will not last forever, so in the meantime, I will try to take on other creative tasks with my hands rather than use them to place food in my mouth.

Until tomorrow.

Strength

The Strength card pretty much speaks for itself. It tells us to look our fears right in the eyes and dissect that which scares us with clear eyes and an open heart. Any situation can be overcome with courage. As I sat in the hospital at my husband's bedside, I was confronted by fear. Fear of what was, fear of what was not, and fear of what was to come. He has been in the hospital since Tuesday afternoon and it is still unclear what is actually wrong with him. We have been given the possibility of 2 diagnoses, but won't find out until tomorrow which one it; he has been scheduled for a procedure tomorrow morning to hopefully rule out one of the possibilities. Along with being scared for my husband and our family, I was also afraid of what my supervisors would think about me taking so much unexpected time off of work. I sent emails to let them know my plans, but did not talk to them 1-on-1 due to my fear of how they would take my absences. In the past, they have been very understanding, but I had never taken off more than a day. This time around, I wanted to take off a week. I knew this would be a sacrifice money-wise (part-time = no benefits), but there was no other choice. I wanted to be, no, I had to be by my husband's side during his time of need. For better or for worse.

By pulling this card on this particular day, I figured the Universe was telling me to put my "big girl panties” on and suck it up. I mustered up the courage to be more vocal with his doctors. I asked more questions, looked them directly in the eyes, and made my presence known as a very involved and concerned wife. I chose to be strong for my husband and not let my fear of the unknown back me into a corner. As for my job, I called my supervisor and told her the situation. I let her know that I wanted/had to be there for my husband and that I apologized for taking so much unexpected time off. To my great relief, she totally understood my position and reassured me that it was okay and to take care of my family first; work would be there when I returned.

Sometimes I need to be reminded that I am no longer a child. I feel like one on most days as I love to play, laugh, and twirl my magic wand, but I sometimes forget that I am a responsible wife, mother, and therapist. When I am confronted with sticky situations involving “grown-up” dilemmas, I tend to shy away and look at the ground like a frightened child; I dislike confrontation and sometimes feel it’s easier to just go with the flow. The Strength card is a card that I may have to keep in my pocket at all times to remind me that it’s okay to ask questions, to speak up for myself, and be a grown-up – when it’s absolutely necessary…

Until tomorrow.

The Chariot

6 of Wands

The 6 of Wands is all about wisdom and experience. When one has studied hard and worked hard, a pat on the shoulder and a well needed break are in order. We may not be the wealthiest or healthiest, but what is stored in our brain vaults are ours for the keeping; knowledge is power and that power can never be stolen or taken away.

Today was an interesting day. My "little him" was not in a happy mood today (teething = no fun), and my "BIG Him" was in a sickly sour mood today (tummy/back troubles = not fun). Needless to say "only her (me)" had to stay home and play nurse. When "little him's" temp. hit 101.5 last night, "BIG Him" asked if we should take him to emergency or urgent care. Being a new mommy, but 1 year and 16 months old, I made the executive decision to just treat with Tylenol and Orajel and see if the fever subsided. We have been through some teething before, but from what I hear, molar pain is unlike the rest of the teeth; and that's exactly what we were dealing with. My decision proved to be a good one. His temp. returned to normal and he was almost kinda, but not quite, back to his old self in the morning. We saved our selves some time, gas, and energy, but all would have been worth it had we taken that route instead.

Now, BIG Him is a different story. Long story short, he made an appt., decided not to go, and then ended up in the ER later that night. We went down the road of "I told you sos" and "shoulda, coulda, wouldas" and ended up on the path of "we're here now, let the past be the past". While in the ER, it was so interesting to see the hustle and bustle of doctors, nurses, emergency techs, orderlies, and patients and also the dialouge between them all. All kind of abbreviations were being called out, and being that I am from a semi-medical background, it all made perfect sense to me. Of course, none of it was my business to know that a patient wanted her NG (nasogastric) tube removed and that she would leave the hospital AMA (against medical advice) if it were not taken out ASAP (do I really need to spell this one out?)! Anywho, in the mix of waiting for information on my hubby's situation and listening to the elderly woman in the bed behind us frantically yell for help (she was ok), I actually felt... smart.

Sometimes I get so deep into the characters of wife and mommy that I forget that I am also a graduate degreed professional (who, by the way, just passed her Praxis exam) that actually knows a thing or two outside of diapers, dinner, and dryer sheets. The moral of the story is that I have quite a bit of knowledge on so many different subjects that I can be in almost any environment and be "in the know". My brain is like an ipod; I have many genres of knowledge all stored in one place. When at work or at home, it can be set to a certain playlist, but when I go out and decide that I need to be a cast of characters all by myself, I can set that bad boy to "shuffle" and just rock out...

Until tomorrow.

The Magician